Ok, now usually I don't respond to comments made on what I say, but the most recent one almost requires a response. Fuck that, it needs a response. Have I analyzed my actions within these "relationships" that I've had? Most definitely, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to self-criticizing. I tear myself apart, some would say too much. I have analyzed, and re-analyzed these situations to the point that it would make any other person sick, and honestly I've come to one very common conclusion: Women are strange creatures, and make absolutely no sense. Therefore I shouldn't waste my time in trying to understand their actions, I should try to accept them, or not. That's pretty much my choices in these matters. But I have to admit, I do love the "it's not them it's you" statement, only a woman would come back with that, or a gay guy, either way they think along the same lines. No straight guy would say anything like that, nor would that even cross his mind. Hell a normal guy wouldn't even be reading this blog, and if one was, I'd ask him why the hell he was, and then suggest other things he could be doing with his spare time rather than reading about my fucked up life. I keep this blog not for everyone to read, you can if you won't I don't care, but more for me to try to organize all the shit that goes on in my head. It's like Dr. Seuss' worst nightmare up there, but if you met me in real life you wouldn't even guess that's what it's like, I do a very good job of hiding things, too well in fact, and it has cost me dearly, but that's another story for another time. Back to the matter at hand, no it's not me, it only becomes me when I do everything I can from my end to try and figure out what's going on, but the problem lies in the fact that the other party concerned doesn't try to meet me halfway. In that case, it's the old story of when you mess with a bull you get the horns. Now I consider myself a very considerate guy. Most girls (even the ones I talk about here) would tell you that I've gone out of my way to listen to them, and be there for them no matter what. When that changes is when they change. Why and how they change, and what the reason is is beyond me, and it would help if these specific few would actually sack up from time to time and confront the issue, rather than just run away and ignore it, but therein lies a weakness/strength of mine: I take things head on. I don't run away, I confront the problem and deal with it until it's over, I don't set things aside, I don't let other people make/influence my decisions/thoughts/feelings on a subject. I'm the most considerate, sympathetic, but hard headed son of a bitch you'll ever meet. And you know what, I'm better off for it, otherwise I wouldn't have learned the most important lessons that I have over the years. So is it me? Doubt it...Is it them? More than likely, but until someone has the cojones to speak up, we'll never know...