Hi, my name is [insert name here] and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. Never has my life in college been summed up in a better paragraph. (And just for the record, that is not my original composition, but the intro into Tucker Max's new book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.--which I really hope they do because I know I have my reservation on the bus, and if they don't, well then there's really no point in going right?) Anyways, I've been trying to get my head around some strange situations that have happened to me lately, and I've come to one very serious conclusion, the entire human race is completely fucked up. I mean, not a single one of us really ever has their shit together. There is always someone that screws it up; just when you think you have someone figured out, boom! they go and do something that makes your head spin and forces you to crawl into the bottle for comfort. Because as we all know, alcohol is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. Here's something, everyone, and I mean everyone, has some kind of self-esteem issues. Now guys, we're generally very callous assholes, well the majority at least I can't speak for the welcome mat guys that let females walk all over them. But back to the point at hand. If a guy is interested in a girl, and maybe for only one night, being completely nice to her isn't going to get you all the way. You have to get to the self-esteem, then you've got it. Now don't take this as general advice, but it works, I've tried it. Essentially you poke at the self-esteem issues, "You look great, but you'd look even better if you dropped 5-10 pounds", or "I like you hair the way it is, but I like it better before." For some reason that kicks off a freak out like no other in their mind, and either they walk away from you, or they stay and try to get some validation out of you that there really isn't anything wrong with you, and the really fucked up ones end up really getting to want to know you. It's really sad that this shit works out this way, but sometimes girls, you are the ones getting played, not us. See I'm pretty much different than a lot of other people because I have no heart. Now, if you were to go into the archives of this blog and go back a couple years, I had one then, but as things progress and you read, then you'll see that I've eventually had it ripped out of my ass enough times that I don't have one anymore, hence I'll do whatever it takes to get even, get into bed with someone...well you get the point. Although you might be wondering, "this is just to make you feel good about yourself." Fuck you, I already feel good about myself. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be doing even half of the shit that I've pulled already. For instance last night, I met a girl for the first time. I was drunk, and after about 5 minutes of talking with her, I asked her, "So do guys really get off on that deep man-voice of yours?" And she laughed, and things went great. A couple years ago I would never have pulled that, I would've been afraid to get my balls ripped off by a she-bitch, instead, I've adopted the policy of fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. And if I've offended anyone, too bad. Life is too short to go around being pissed off at other people for your shortcomings. Enjoy everyday because you never know when you might walk out your front door on your way to McDonald's to get a burger, and you get run over by a cattle truck.

This going to be a short post, I don't really have much to say, just thought I would update the blog. Things have been really weird lately, I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older or what, but I don't look at things the same way anymore. I'm a bit more somber about life, a little more introspective, just really trying to get a grasp of all the things that have happened to me over the years, and how they have made me into the person I am today. I also question whether or not I like this new person...Maybe it's just my brain being overactive, or me thinking too much about things, I just have this overwhelming feeling that I need to get away from things. I need to step back, and pull myself away from all of this for a while and get my head on straight. A lot of my thoughts have been going over to all of my friends that are over in Iraq, and all the young men and women serving over there, and yet at the same time I feel like that's where I need to be, being someone that can take care of those kids so they can come home to their families and friends. I know that I have family and friends of my own, but lately it doesn't seem to matter that much to me, I care more for others than I do for myself. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or anti-social, it's just how I have been feeling. I guess it stems from a feeling that I'm where I should be for the moment, so there's no need to worry for myself for the time being, so my feelings travel to other mediums. It's all really just confusing shit, especially for the one having to go through it, but whatever, life goes on. I'm also worried about how my future is going to play out. College is quickly coming to an end, and I really have no idea what I want to do with my life yet. I have options, but not one really stands out as the best, and it's rough because all my life I've been presented with options and always known the right road to take, and here I stand at a crossroads scratching my head and not knowing which way to go... I guess I'm tired of the head games, I'm tired of the bullshit, and I just want to be somewhere where things make sense, and right now, they don't, and it's really pissing me off. Almost to the point where I just want to be back on my own, with no one around, and just myself to depend on rather than some people that may say their your friends until something comes down the pike where they feel they can't be your friends, or if something happens, they still want you to be friends with them even when they know you can't trust them anymore. This is not about anyone specifically, but just how my track record has gone over the last decade or so. I know I may be young year-wise compared to a lot of people, but I have seen things, and done things that people my age should never have to go through or do; like my dad always said, it's not the years, it's the mileage.

So what do I have to say today? Not too much really. I was hoping this weekend would've gone better than it did, but you can't get everything you want. However I did help a friend out and supported him in his time of need, so I'm glad I was able to do that. It's a long story, and I don't really think that anyone else needs to know about it, so you can fuck off. Anyways, there were some big plans for this weekend. Was going to meet up with some old friends that came into town, but that didn't happen, and was going to have a great Saturday night, but I got sick, so that came to a screeching halt. And then Pittsburgh won, but it's good that I didn't give a shit about the Super Bowl because neither the Colts or the Bears were in it, so that doesn't bother me. What bothers me and keeps me up at night is the fact that my life in college is quickly coming to an end, and I need to get out into the real world; and that simple fact is terrifying. I won't lie, I'm not ready for it, but at the same time I'm ready to be done with college and get my career in gear, I just don't know where to go. I have so many ideas, so many such that I don't know where to go, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels...Either way I have to figure something out otherwise I'm gonna be another college grad living in his parent's house with a mediocre job going nowhere. That's not gonna be me, come hell or high water I'm getting out of this bumbfuck state and getting a career, hopefully one that is rewarding. But we'll see, I still need to think about that kind of stuff. This is going to be a short post because today has been draining, and I have class in less than 7 hours, peace...